Closing Business // Everything Falling Into Place

  This year & what the fuck do I want to tell you about it. 

Let’s share a little bit about what set me up for 2024,

My first year as a certified sex & relationship coach. 

My first year hosting my podcast.

A new year for many firsts & a year full of “lasts”.

2023 was the last year to live out my twenties.

One could say the past few years of this era has been prepping me for the next decade. I’m not anywhere close to where I perceived I'd be. In fact I should probably elaborate on that for my own personal release, but also to shed some light for you. 

 10 years ago I started making big plans, they grew and evolved. Where I find myself now though is not the place that I had imagined I’d be at. 

The universe had something, and a different path planned out for me that I could not have foreseen. 

You see we can make plans all we want, but the truth is - they will always change. Not sometimes, or on occasion. They will inevitable change every single fucking time. Hard truth I’ve come to learn and find grace with vs going stubborn against the flow. While rejecting lessons that are to bring me healing. 

I had imagined that by reaching my 30s, I would’ve been running my fast growing empire of sales and empowering women. I had helped build a team of close to 100 women, who belonged to an ever bigger team making up close to 5 million in sales. This was my life. I traveled, I met new friends constantly. I helped improve people’s way of life, by reclaiming their body & sexuality.

I helped make sex, fucking amazing.

This was the life that I had planned. I wanted to build my residual income with the company through their stellar compensation plan. I had already been so successful climbing to the top 1% of the company and serving on their top leadership boards for 3 consecutive years.

I built myself into choices, because of the work put in I knew we wouldn’t find ourselves in as hard spots as others, or living paycheck to paycheck.

I set myself up for success. 

I hit my first 6 figure year in 2020. (while I was pregnant with my first child/ first pregnancy) 

The next year I anticipated I'd not gross as much with having a newborn, I went down to about 80K.

The year after that was almost cut in half to almost 40-50k.

And then in 2022, it was cut in half again (25k) the following year.

Bringing me to 2023….. Where my business on card transactions only brought in 15k. 

Less than minimum wage. My hard work, after building this business to what it was, just got fucking reduced down to less than minimum wage. 

Now most business owners would probably work for their small business just to make minimum wage - in fact most probably are for the first few years until they start to see a ROI. 

When your passion fuels you, it really doesn’t matter. Getting up happy to do the work you are set out to do, it what counts. 

Okay to the part now… How did your income drop? Did you stop working, sierra? 

 Sure the fuck didn't. In fact in 2021 I had a baby, and illnesses that effected my health for almost 2 years straight. I worked through it all. I remember responding to a few emails even while I had an epidural in my back waiting to push a baby out between my legs. 

Sierra in her 20s was a wild version. She was chaotic and running from truths. She was head down, hustling hard. Burying myself into places that could keep me moving. As a 1099 contracted consultant, I don’t have say in our policies or compensation plan other than I can tell you the first 5 years I was in business, our changes were always directed towards supporting the consultants. Our company returned 60 cents to every dollar made to us. In training, income, bonuses, benefits. You name it. We were thriving and exploding into new territory. So what happened? What switched? What made my income drop to less than minimum wage after building it so high? 

Sierra changed. FOR SURE.  

Now when I say all these things it almost sounds like I’m just wanting to put the blame on someone. But it’s not. I’ve really made peace with my journey and understand a portion of why this is the way. 

I think it’s important that people see my experience, because they too might have gone through the same - and because at the end of the day I’m a truth seeker and that’s all I want to share. 

Small changes came first, I adjusted and pivoted no problem. When I say small changes that affected business, we are talking over the span of the first year. The next year came, I had grace on myself that I didn’t clear over 100k that year I had an extremely hard ending of pregnancy, rough birth and my health had taken a huge hit. (one that would stay with me for the next 2 years) 

Everything I did in my twenties caught up to me and slammed me right after I made a human. 

Everyone I know always has said “it changes so much when you have kids”

I agree, and I also think that as an entrepreneur and becoming a mom for the first time is a whole other experience. Your passion for what you do will be questioned. How you do it, why you do it & where you’ve held yourself back. Now as a mother, you will also question every single fucking choice you make as if one day you’ll be explaining it to the tiny sweet bundle of love in your arms. 

Being a boss and a mom - another story for another day. Between all of this madness I had been drained by team members and people I let take my energy. The truth?

The bigger you grow, the bigger your problems grow.

I had been coaching dozens of women on how to grow their own businesses and teams. I’ve always served as a form of “empowering” coach though so a lot of our calls and meet ups turned into life coaching and just helping people navigate the crunchy parts of life. 

I also had some really shitty team members. Wooooah. Feels crazy to type out, but when I say we had some rotten apples, holy fuck did we.  

That’s really bold of me to say - but man i still have the texts in my phone of the novels sent to me by hurting people simply lashing out. 

And to who? Me. A person who is helping for free. A person who dedicated countless hours and days to training, developing resources to help you succeed. I didn’t get paid for any of those hours. I didn’t get compensated for all the time I took away from my family to help you, and then to have you call me everything AND a white woman.

After having my daughter, my time for users was done. It was like my energy had circled the drain and my cup was empty. The last portion of the team we had left I did my best to support in their endeavors, but for my own health I had to step away. 

I knew that my heart was leading me somewhere onward, I just wasn’t quite sure what that looked like. A year went by after I had stopped putting forth any effort with my team it was the following year in May, and we got the notification that company wide “teams” and “overrides” were removed from our compensation plan, meaning that any income you had built or had left was gone moving forward. 

To me, this meant I was loosing an extra 1k or less a month. By then I had already put into works my coaching business and podcast, I was hurt but not overly. I had saw it coming and ironically had decided that growing a team was not in my best interest anymore. 

But. 

For some people in my inner circle this “small change” meant they were loosing their family’s livelihood. Some of my close friends now had been faced with earning 15-20k a month, to the next month… making $0. 

These brave babes don’t even realize how strong they are, going from making minimum wage for a year into a month, then having it taken away and still standing. One of my dear friends had just built her dream home the year prior and was now faced with making up an entire extra income. 

This was a major turning point for me, as I slowly began to realize the dream I had for my business was no longer feasible. Some days I still having a hard time not crying or screaming over this change. 

Just being completely honest, my first business was like my first born child. I will grieve it’s loss maybe the rest of this decade. I’m not sure. All I can tell you is that it’s been a deep process of grief. Denial, anger, acceptance - I've been back and forth and ran through every phase. 

I think I’m explaining all of this, because it’s not the company’s changes that had me fucked up. 

It’s the fact that I feel everything I had worked for in the past decade, ending up not being what I had planned it to be. 

Now of course I’ll get to the juicy stuff - because even though this has been dragging you through the hard mud, I know with every cell in my being that all of this is leading me to better destinations. 

Places that not even I can imagine. 

Which brings us all the way back to 2024. 

A new year. 

At the end of 2023, I received more news that we would be having more changes. At this point, it became very clear over the two weeks following this news. 

It’s time to wrap up a chapter. Close the book maybe even. 

I decided it was time to officially resign from my 1099 consulting position with Pure Romance.

One of the harder, not hardest decisions I’ve made. Like I said it seemed extremely clear after looking at the bigger picture.

My podcast and coaching business just took the fuck off in it’s first year & the time is now more than ever, to release anything that is holding me back any further. 

I ran 3 businesses in 2023, by myself. Two of those were just started and brand new babies.

Just the first thought at reducing that, made my chest a little lighter.  “Oof” I thought. My mind instantly started making space, screaming through making a list of pros: saving money by reducing my expenses, less work time more podcast time, avoiding shipping increases that were about to slaughter me, no more late work nights. 

The other day I had recently thought about training on the acronym KISS. Keep it simple, stupid. Is how I also said it - emphasis on calling myself stupid 2000%. 

It all click after I made my mental list of pros. I needed to bring it back to simple, and close a final chapter in my first business book. 

Ending my first business.

Was not a light decision. At this time I’ve served about 800-1000 people in the most recent year. 

I’ll be sending an email & text to announce this closing/ number closing to anyone who is still opted into those services with me. 

I should mention while all this was circulating, I didn’t sleep for 4 days. 

I woke up with a migraine the week before, where it tortured me for 3 days. (the worst one I’ve ever had)

It seems I go through tremendous physical pain first, before I realize what my body knows that my mind is still trying to figure out.

Also in the mix, I had recently been faced with a location change decision on my upcoming boudoir event. This is a one time a year event and ended up having to cancel my location a month out. Location has always been the biggest struggle for any event I’ve hosted. Finding a venue suitable or a location owner that is open to our events has always been a challenge. 

Right before the holidays and only a month away. Eek. After I realized that closing my business was the right choice, I was reminded of the location issue. Still unresolved, it hit me.

Boom. This. All. Happened. For. A. Reason. 

Closing my business means that my boudoir events would need a major adjustment - the lingerie from my shop is my income for this style of event. 

I called my closest advisor and was like let me blab all this out to you and hear your thoughts. They listened to me spill everything that I have spilled here and then responded with “listen to what your intuition and gut is telling you”. 

100% it has all played out EXACTLY as it needs to from the past 8 years of serving others in my business and empowering women down to my most current event. 

I’m stepping into the new year, with confidence and reassurance that no matter what, everything is working out in my favor. Choosing stress is worthless, because all I can see isn't everything to be seen. Be still while things play out, but also at the same time not still enough to live in reactor mode. You create your life. You choose to follow your heart and where your body is guiding you. Your gut is never wrong. 

Hard choices are always called for, but know that no matter what - it is ALL WORKING OUT IN YOUR FAVOR. In your best interest. What’s most incredible for you. 

Nothing that’s meant to be, will ever pass you by - my motto for 2023. 

With this release, I am lighter. I am fuller. 

I am way less stressed the fuck out.

My word for 2024 I chose as "ruthless". Being ruthless for what I want & what I deserve. Choosing to stay ruthless in my path and continue to create, while helping others along the way. 

Walking through new doors with confidence in the future & in knowing every piece has played an important part of building who I am today. 

Words can't express how thankful I am for the continued years of support!

Cheers to expansion, evolution & stepping into new opportunity.